Why gaming still has a women problem (2025)

Warning: This story contains offensive and abusive language from the outset which some readers may find distressing.

By Mickey Carroll, science and technology reporter

It was my turn. After weeks of hanging out in a gaming chat room, I'd been spotted. My profile picture showed that I was clearly a woman but was otherwise unremarkable.

I didn't have time to speak a word before I was called a "dirty f***ing b****", while someone else asked to "see that p***y". Another player got involved, calling me a "slag" and a "n***e".

This was followed by people telling me I was ugly and someone asking me to be their mummy.

It's been a decade since Gamergate, when indie game designer Zoe Quinn was accused of sleeping with journalists in return for good reviews of her game. Zoe, who has always strongly denied the accusation, faced horrific abuse including rape and death threats to her and her family.

This campaign of hatred gained momentum and other women were attacked. One of them was game developer Brianna Wu who spoke out in support of others.

"I wasn't well known at the time," she said, speaking to me a decade after Gamergate left her fearing for her safety. Voicing her opinion that "women should be free to have careers like men do" without being intimidated, made her a target.

Like Zoe, Brianna received rape and death threats. "They made my life hell, hacked my bank account and tried to destroy my game studio. The stuff I got was so extreme the FBI got involved."

After more than a year of frenzied attacks, the intensity fizzled out but the misogyny and hatred persisted. Brianna sees the normalisation of this type of abuse towards women in gaming, and on the internet, as the "dark legacy" of Gamergate.

To find out how women gamers are treated in 2024, I decided to start by playing Call of Duty - one of the most popular multiplayer games. When I logged on, the in-game chat was eerily silent - had gaming finally cleaned up its act? But my hopes were dashed when veteran gamers directed me to Discord - the social platform which prides itself on being the spiritual home of gaming.

Discord, which hosts chat rooms dedicated to individual games, recently refocused its business strategy to bring more gamers in. It boasts almost 27,000 different gaming groups, called 'servers'.

At first, the predominantly male chat rooms seemed to foster friendship. Users shared advice on relationships, careers and giving up cannabis. But suddenly, the players would turn and the entire group would start hurling slurs at strangers.

I was logged into a chat room when I heard one player mistakenly identify another as Canadian. The player, who was actually American, did not take it well, shouting he would rape the "entire f***ing family" of the gamer who had slighted him.

There's no way to report Discord users for comments they make in voice chat. There is for text-based conversations, but that's not how many gamers use Discord. And the technology does exist to moderate voice chats - Roblox, the online gaming platform, has an infamously strict voice chat moderator and Call of Duty's developers use AI to moderate their chats.

In fact, Call of Duty's developers Activision told me their recent rollout of AI voice moderation has led to a 25% decrease in how much toxic abuse players are exposed to.

They've also recently updated their code of conduct; in order to play, the user has to agree to "treat everybody with respect".

Brianna highlighted the lack of moderation on Discord's voice chats as a cause for concern. "You basically have a free-for-all with no oversight. It's a bad system for women gamers," she said.

When I asked Discord why there was no recourse for abusive comments in their voice chat, they told me "safety is integrated into every aspect" of their product and policies.

Their community guidelines prohibit hate speech and hateful conduct as well as bullying, harassment and threats. When they become aware of such behaviour, Discord said they "take immediate action" including "banning users, shutting down servers, and engaging with authorities as appropriate".

Discord added that to keep content and activity that violates their policies off their platform they "use a mix of proactive and reactive tools" including AI and human moderators, and features like the ability to block and report other users.

Although the abuse I witnessed first-hand was in Discord, it's not a problem exclusive to the app. The women I spoke to told me they also experienced hatred in games where the voice chats are still active.

"It can start off as sexist comments," says Jenny McBean - who heads up the gaming section of Bryter, a market research company based in London. "But it often escalates into something more threatening; rape threats, male gamers saying, 'I'm going to find out where you live, attack your family and attack you'."

For the last six years, Jenny has polled around a thousand female gamers in the UK and US about the shocking abuse they face. Last year's figures were the first to show any sign of improvement.

"Yesterday, I played two games and experienced sexism in both," says Meg Garner, a 26-year-old streamer living in London. She began seriously gaming during lockdown and now, hundreds of people watch her play when she goes live on streaming platform Twitch.

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The levels of abuse took Meg, who started out gaming casually with her family, by surprise. "The minute I started to use voice chat as a woman, I saw it straight away. I couldn't believe it."

Now, Meg uses humour to help her fight back when men abuse her online.

In a recent viral video, she took the sting out of the sexist slurs hurled at her by playing the beat of a rap song and dancing as if her troll's words were lyrics.

"You piece of s**t…" he snarled

She hit play on the track. The beat worked surprisingly well.

"You f***ing white b****, f***ing b****."

At this point, she starts dancing on camera. She has completely undermined the man's aggression.

"I am comfortable with confrontation," she says. But she knows plenty of women gamers who shy away from using live chat. "It's an unfair disadvantage that women and minorities have, because they feel they can't use their voice and experience gaming to the fullest."

"Yesterday, I played two games and experienced sexism in both," says Meg Garner, a streamer living in London.

She began seriously gaming during lockdown and now, hundreds of people watch her play when she goes live on streaming platform Twitch.

The levels of abuse took Meg, who started out gaming casually with her family, by surprise at first.

"The minute I started to use voice chat as a woman, I saw it straight away. I couldn't believe it."

Now, Meg uses humour to help her fight back when men abuse her online.

In a recent viral video, she took the sting out of the sexist slurs hurled at her by playing the beat of a rap song and dancing as if her troll's words were lyrics.

"You piece of s**t…" he snarled

She hit play on the track. The beat worked surprisingly well.

"You f***ing white b****, f***ing b****."

At this point, she starts dancing on camera. She has completely undermined the man's aggression.

"I am comfortable with confrontation," she says. But she knows plenty of women gamers who shy away from using live chat.

Being a woman in gaming is "scary", says 19-year-old French esports professional Mathilde. She's got a big following in France but still steels herself before starting a game. "You need to have confidence in yourself… if someone jumps on me, I will jump back."

But there are signs of improvement. Jenny's latest study showed a drop in the amount of women who experienced abuse, from 72% to 65%.

Esports star Mimi, 27, is one of the world's best players of online shooter game Valorant.

Her experiences echoes Jenny's view. It was "way worse" a decade ago, she says but admits she is partially insulated by her status as a respected player. "If you're a casual gamer, you will be picked on more."

Among those pushing for change is award-winning games consultant and founder Stephanie Ijoma.

A lifelong gamer, it wasn't until she started playing online as a teenager that she realised how hostile gaming culture had become.

"I'm a black woman and black women in this space are subject to more abuse than anyone else," she says. Despite facing death threats, she refused to give up.

Instead, she founded NNESAGA, an agency dedicated to improving diversity in games, and has worked with industry heavyweights such as PlayStation, as well as social platforms like Facebook.

Her purpose is to dismantle "a system that was against us, and we are doing it".

She isn't alone. Esports tournament organiser Dagny Veinberg has spent the last four years boosting the audiences for women's events.

As women like Stephanie, Meg and Dagny stand up for their space in gaming, maybe more of the offline, off-mic players like me will come out of the shadows.

I've actually enjoyed my foray into online gaming; although some players are toxic, others are funny and supportive.

That said, I've no interest in being yelled at by men halfway across the world, and that's enough to keep me off the gaming chat rooms.

I'm happy playing with just my partner and friends. They hurl abuse because I regularly lose games, not because I dare to play as a woman.

If you have experienced this kind of abuse and need support, the Cybersmile Foundation has dedicated tools, including a global support service, to help people deal with abuse in gaming. https://www.cybersmile.org/